Old life... New love..

[melbender]

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He lives a sheltered routine life, used to order and schedule. That’s how it’s been since his wife passed. Before she died, they had the same routine and structure. Sex was for pregnancy and straight forward. His children, well mannered and reaching their early teens. 

She’s free spirited and clumsy. Travelling the world one month at a time. Her parents died and left her a trust fund for her to experience life at its best. She knows no schedule, and enjoys living. 

A job takes her to a small town, where she is to take photos of the beauty she finds. Renting a small house next to a large property. She goes over to introduce herself and finds the man less than pleasant.. but it doesn’t bother her and she soon finds herself annoying him for help each day.

How can he let someone new in his life when he had lost his only one. Everything she does, says, wears.. he compares it to her and when they become something more, he finds himself still saying she’s doing things wrongly.. can he let go of his past, and become something more with the future? and when he discovers old diaries in the attic that details a sordid affair with her ex boss, is it too late to see what he could have had.

[Ashwag24]

That hurt.  “Oh um, no I’m good.  I want to spend time with you maybe take a walk to the waterfall.”  I pulled her to me I didn’t like her talking to him, they were closer to age and if she asked him to uproot he could.

[melbender]

“That could be fun, do the kids have school tomorrow?” I wasn’t sure what their classes were. I never went to school. “So, what are we eating? Do you have popcorn?”

[Ashwag24]

I smiled.  “It’s Saturday so no they don’t have school and I think we do.” I let her go and went to look.  I pulled out my leftovers from lunch.  “I’d offer you some of this but you don’t eat meat.  It’s my steak sandwich from lunch.”

[melbender]

I looked at the sandwich and groaned “you need to put that away.” I couldn’t handle it. He looked at me, my my eyes on the sandwich and next thing I was grabbing the ketchup and lathering up the steak and placing the bread on top then sinking my teeth into the meat. “Don’t judge me. I can’t help it. I’m craving it so bad.”

[Ashwag24]

I just watched her eat my sandwich and her question popped in my head.  “Tessa why are you craving meat?” She couldn’t be, could she? Oh shit.

[melbender]

I had a mouth full, terrified to tell him but I couldn’t explain myself out of this one “uh, you kind of got me pregnant.” I slightly winced

[Ashwag24]

I sat down and looked at her.  “And your leaving?”  I didn’t understand.  She was pregnant and she was planning to leave. That hurt.  “Were you going to tell me?”

[melbender]

“I dont know.. it depends I guess, I didn’t know how to tell you. You kind of said you didn’t want more kids so that killed the question before.” I looked up at him. “I know it’s not ideal, and it’s not something that I planned especially with just meeting you and all your baggage.”

[Ashwag24]

I just looked at her. “One I never said I didn’t want more I said I never thought of having more which is true.  Two your leaving with our child! I don’t get it. How could you do that?”  I was upset that she was just going to leave. I looked at her then at her belly, her flat belly.  “Why come back and tell me if your leaving I don’t understand.  I have rights to this child, you can’t just up and leave!”

[melbender]

“Keep your voice down, you’re over reacting.” I walked over and closed the passage way door. “I don’t even know if I’m keeping the baby.” I sighed with a shrug. “You have rights? What are they? You didn’t speak to me the entire time I had gone, and I told you because I thought tho should know.”

[Ashwag24]

I held up my hand.  “You don’t know if your keeping the baby?”  I got up and passed.  “And stop saying I didn’t call you could have picked up the phone!  Hell you left without a goodbye in the first place!”  I was so made now.  “And your damn right I have rights!  That’s also my child!”

[melbender]

“Yeah and you called me your wife’s name the night I fell pregnant.” I snapped back throwing that at him. “So I guess that’s how you conceive a baby, moan her name
And she was knocked up.” I don’t know why it bothered me, it just did. “We don’t know each other, you have kids and as you said I don’t stick around long enough to be a family with anyone.”

[Ashwag24]

I looked at her.  I didn’t say anything I couldn’t.  “Seriously if your aren’t keeping the baby why come back here and tel me?  Do you get the joy out of seeing me hurt?” I shook my head.  “Your right we don’t know each other I can’t believe you would even think about hurting our child.  Our living creation.”  I can’t believe this.  I wasn’t hungry.  “Enjoy my meat!”  I spat out and walked away.  Going upstairs I didn’t know what to do. She had hurt me bad.

[melbender]

I stood there, feeling stupid about everything. I couldn’t stay here, that was clear. He was too mad with me. I cleaned up and quietly walked outside and sat in the car, tears running down my cheeks as I drove out and went to a car lot by the beach. I took a blanket down there and sat, staring at the stars. This was such a mess.

[Ashwag24]

I felt bad.  I went downstairs to talk to her but she wasn’t there I went outside and her van was gone fuck. I pulled my phone out and called no answer I called over and over but nothing I sent her a message. -I’m so sorry I got upset please come back.- I sat out on the porch waiting .

[melbender]

-what’s the point? Everything you said was right.- I sent it and kept staring at the sky, wishing I had my mum for some kind of guidence. How could I keep a child when we didn’t know each other? I realised we needed to talk and I didn’t like fighting or being on bad terms with anyone. So I drove back, and walked up the pathway to the patio where he was sitting. “If you yell at me, I’ll leave for good. I can’t do telling.”

[Ashwag24]

I nodded.  “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to not have the baby.”  I said shaking my head.  “That’s us, why would you want to not have him or her?  Your good with kids.  So that can’t be it.  Tell me I need to know because I don’t understand.”

[melbender]

“Because I don’t know how to be a person who stays in the one place. I’m terrified, I never envisioned my life having children so young. I wanted to be married, to have a home and dreams with the man I love.” I sat down staring out at the dark. “You have three kids that aren’t young, you’re not young. How do you think your children will react? Or your family?” I put my head in my hands. “This baby, it’s going to tie us together forever.”

[Ashwag24]

I sighed and grabbed her hand.  “My age bothers you that much?  My family is gone it’s just me and the kids.“. She didn’t want to be tied down to me.  “If you don’t want to stay here or give up your life then I’ll raise our baby, but please don’t do what I think you want to do.”  I couldn’t let that happen.  “I want you to want to be here but I can’t force you, I’m not sure how I do it but I seem to manage to have children with woman who don’t want what I want.”  I got up and went to the bottom step.  “Maybe we should sleep and talk more tomorrow.”

[melbender]

Nothing he said comforted me, it just made me feel even worse about all of this. “I think sleep will be good.” He made me sound self obsorbed and petty. “I’m not carrying a child for nine months then just hand him or her over and take off, you’re just thinking about yourself. You think I’m that cruel? I can’t believe you’d even say that.” I sat on the couch and rolled over fighting the silent tears. “I told you I was terrified and you kept telling me what I think is wrong. You’re not understanding how I feel at all and it’s making everything worse.”

[Ashwag24]

I sighed “then tell me.  I don’t want to make things worse, I don’t feel a child is the worse it’s a blessing.  I understand your terrified but what am I suppose to say to help you what am I to do.”  I sat back down and pulled her up and to me hating that she was crying.  “Tell me what it is you want?  I don’t know Tessa, I just know who you are and I don’t want to take that from you.  I don’t know what to do.”

[melbender]

“I don’t know either. Just look at this from my point of view. It’s not about your age, or anything like that, its the fact we don’t know each other. How fair isnit to bring a child into the world when we don’t know anything about each other? You hated me when we first met, what happens when you realise you hate me again? It’s a lot for me to take in, I have a job which I won’t be able to do, my whole life changes and yours doesn’t because you’re already settled and living somewhere you love. I haven’t got a house, I live from my car.” I pointed out wiping my eyes.

[Ashwag24]

I sighed.  “I see, well let me say this I don’t think I could hate you yes you annoy me and I never hated you, you made me feel again.  It scared me to be honest.  Just because you have a child doesn’t mean you won’t be able to work.  I sighed you are more than welcome to stay here live here, or if you would be more comfortable till we get to know one another you can still travel and live in the cottage, I can sell it to you it would be yours.”  I would give it to her is she wanted it but I don’t think she’d like to be handed it.  I looked her in the eyes.  “I want this baby.”  I laid my hand on her flat belly.

[melbender]

“I can’t live here with a baby.” I looked around the room, noticing the family photos. The house was full of his late wife and it was uncomfortable for me. “The cottage? I’ll stay there until I find somewhere else then, but don’t expect a lot from me, I’m scared.” My gaze dropped to his hand “you need to tell your children and if we do this, I will be calling the child after my parents,”

[Ashwag24]

“We tell them together and I’m okay with that.”  I sighed.  “I’m sorry for yelling it was a surprise but i shouldn’t have yelled.”  I pulled her to me.  “I um, I’ll start making this house better if you’d like.  Now that my book is done I’ll have time to redo anything you want too.”

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