Past truths

[melbender]

First topic message reminder :

She went to her first party, expecting a fun time. What happened, would leave her with a permanent reminder of that night forever.

He was young, stupid and out for a good time. His friends tell him a girls hot for him in the bedroom upstairs who likes it rough.. Drunk and horny, he fucks her.. Not realising she's drugged, half passed out and mumbling no. He didn't realise what he'd done until it was too late.. So he left, thinking he'd never see her again.

Years later, in a grocery store.. He's back in town and they bump into each other. He doesn't recognise her at first. When he goes to leave, he notices that the little girl beside her has his eyes and it all comes crashing back to him. He wants her.. He wants to be there for his daughter.. The only problem, she has no idea he's the one who done to her all those years ago that left her with a child.

Will the guilt eat him up, making him finally confess?

[Ashwag24]

I gave a small smile as I walked into her home. Emma was sitting now eating and watching tv so I sat next to her on the floor. We chatted a little and ate while we finished a movie then she was tired so j made sure she was clean and brushed her teeth as she got into bed I kissed her and told her I was going to get her mummy so she can say good night. I walked out and saw maddy and she was beautiful. "Emma is wanting to say good night." I say causing her to jump, "sorry I thought you heard me coming."

[melbender]

"you scared me, I didn't hear you."  I'd actually forgotten he was here they were so quiet. "I'll be back in a minute." I smiled, going and kissing Emma goodnight, and stayed until she fell asleep. I walked back out to Asher and smiled "she likes you."

[Ashwag24]

I smiled. "I like her, and-". I stopped. "Look I'm not sure where to start so I'm going to start with the day before the party okay, I just need to get this all out, I'll understand if you want nothing to do with me, I wouldn't blame you and what I'm going to tell you is simply the truth not an excuse for what I did." I needed her to understand. "But all I ask is you let me have some sort of relationship with Emma, it can be whatever you want."

[melbender]

"youre her father, and although I have always said I'd never let him anywhere near her, I wouldn't take that away from you.. So I'll listen, and try to understand but you have to also see where I'm coming from, I woke up to find myself naked and a man inside me.. I was a virgin." of course he'd know that by now, I was not the sexual typw

[Ashwag24]

I sighed. "I do understand where your coming from." I took a deep breath as I started at her wanting her to see that I really did understand too. "Thank you for letting me in Emma's life." I looked away counting to ten before starting. "The day before j was in the hospital with my dad, he had just gotten the news of his cancer. I was graduating and was getting ready to leave town. I hated it here. I hated my so called friends I hated life. I was so messed up that by the time I got to the party I was already drunk off my ass. As I do and a shit load more at the party my friends new I would do whatever because I didn't care at the moment. They told me that there was a girl who wanted me and was waiting for me. They always made fun of me for being a virgin and because I was so drunk and pissed at the world I said fuck it if a girl wanted me then okay. I walked upstairs and they pushed me inside. This is what all comes fussy for me. I remember walking over to the bed where you laid, I remember talking to you having a conversation about nothing. Then I remember I kissed you, something felt off, but I didn't stop I thought you were just drunk too or maybe I wasn't doing things right." I stopped and took a deep breath this was hard for me to talk about. "I remember asking you if it was okay and all you did was mumble. When I finally entered you I didn't think I could stop. I remember you feeling so good and it blocked out why I was so pissed at the world. I remember almost cumming to soon. You weren't moving which scared me but I didn't know you passed out. When you woke and screamed at me I was already cumming. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I jumped off of you so fast and dressed I ran out of the room and saw my so called friends laughing. That's when they told me you didn't want me and no one would, that they had drugged you with the date rape drug." I glanced at her tear strained face. "I shouldn't have done what I did, my world was so fucked up and I hated myself so much that I didn't even care if I got into my car and recked that night. I went home wanting to kill myself. I laid in bed and the next morning when all the events came back to me I was more pissed. I went and found all the guys that did what they did to you and took out all my anger. Later the police found me at the hospital where my dad only knew I beat the shit out of them not why, they wanted to charge me but because I was leaving they didn't. The next day I left without a word to anyone." I sat down on the grass crying. "I'm so fucking sorry maddy I really didn't know. I'll never forgive myself and I don't expect or want you to either."

[melbender]

I sat there silently crying, to hear his side of things broke my heart. I couldn't believe this. What his friends had done. That they'd drugged me on purpose. I reached forwarda with shaky hands and took his "I can't promise to forget what happened, but I can work on forgiving you even though we were both played by your friends.. I.. I'd like you to stay, and be in Emmas life if you're ok with that. Not just now and then, but as her father."

[Ashwag24]

I looked at our hands then to her face. "I would love that, and maddy know this I wouldn't have done what I did to you if I'd known." I sighed and looked up. "I don't lie maddy when I told you my first was not what people expected, it wasn't and I haven't had sex since that night. I'm so sorry maddy, I never meant to hurt you or take so much away from you." I looked at her. "But your so smart maddy look at what you have done, while raising our baby. Your incredible and my god your a strong beautiful woman." I wanted to kiss her but knew it wasn't the right time.

[melbender]

I bit down my lip, nodding "I couldn't imagine a life without her and I know she wasn't made with love or brought into a world with two parents, but she's everything to me and I don't regret having her.. I just hope we can figure something out, thats best for all of us." I said knowing he had to be in her life,.I couldn't take this from him "and the same with me.. I mean there's been noone since then."

[Ashwag24]

That little confession made me so happy. "Can I take you both to breakfast in the morning?" I said knowing she might not want to but I knew she wouldn't say no to Emma going but truth is I wanted her there too.

[melbender]

"I guess breakfast would be nice" I agreed, then sighed "um you realise people are going to talk about us now, and know you're her father."

[Ashwag24]

I smiled. "I'm not worried about that, I mean the worse is on me, they will want to know why I wasn't around, and we don't need to tell them anything if you don't want to, but if you do then I don't care if it makes me look bad. I only worry about how you and Emma think and look at me." We were still holding each other's hands and I slowly rubbed my thumb over her hand.

[melbender]

I stared down at our hands, ignoring the feeling I got in my stomach and heart as his thumb brushed against my skin. It felt nice and comforting. I wanted to ask what this meant for us, but didn't. "Emma loves her kitten, thankyou."

[Ashwag24]

I smiled. "No need to thank me it was you that got it for her remember!" I winked. "I'm glad she likes him though, I don't think he is too keen on his name, what did she name him again?"

[melbender]

"sprinkles" I laughed "I guess that's ok, funny name for a boy but much better than wanting to call him pussy." I grinned eye rolling.

[Ashwag24]

I was shocked hearing that word out of her mouth god it made me groan. "Please tell me she didn't want to call him that? She is too young." I watched as she blushed. God I wanted to kiss her.

[melbender]

"well.. Yes she did." I giggled, laughing. "so Sprinkles is a much better name I think, even for a boy." anything to have gotten her to call him something else. I looked up, my cheeks red from the blush

[Ashwag24]

I smiled. "Yes it's a good thing." I just thought of something. "Oh shit maddy did you even eat? I know I got here and Emma was eating but I didn't see you eat." Shit she has to be hungry.

[melbender]

"oh it's ok. I'm fine." I brushed it off. I had set up plates for the both of us but figured he just wasn't hungry
 After all, he was only here for Emma.

[Ashwag24]

I smiled. "Maddy I didn't see you eat and I was kind of hungry with Emma and ate with her but let's go inside I'll heat some pizza up and I'll eat with you seeing as I'm still hungry." Okay I wasn't but I didn't want to leave.

[melbender]

"if you insist." I smiled, standing back up and walking to the kitchen with him behind. "when would you like to see Emma again?"  I asked, glancing over my shoulder

[Ashwag24]

I smiled "don't we have breakfast plans together tomorrow?" I could tell she was just as nervous as I am. "Look maddy I want to be all there for Emma but I want to be there for you too."

[melbender]

"oh I forgot about breakfast.." I said quietly, unable to hide my smile "how do you mean be there for me?" I needed him to say it or I'd just go crazy with doubts

[Ashwag24]

I looked at her for a while I couldn't read anything with her. Unlike most girls I could tell what they wanted from me but I would never give them anything. "I mean I want us to be a family, I really came to care for you, not just Emma." I said shyly not knowing what to expect from her. Will she want that too. "If you don't want that I will understand but that's what I want."

[melbender]

A family? He wants us to be a family. I couldn't hold back my surprise as my eyes filled with tears. "I want that too." i admitted. "I'm scared though." he had all the power to break my heart and I was terrified. I'd never dated, well him and I dating those few days didn't count. "Just.. please don't hurt Emma."

[Ashwag24]

I looked at her. "I don't want to purposely hurt you or Emma but maddy I'm human and sometimes I don't know sometimes I can be a jerk but I won't purposely hurt you both, that's not me. Who I am is who you saw those few short days we were getting to know each other." I hated that she was scared. "We will take everything slow and just ease into it okay. No pressure from me and none form you, I can't promise Emma won't want to put some pressure on us though she is young."

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