The boy who saved me

[melbender]

First topic message reminder :

lily suffered something tragic. 

Scared and afraid, she struggles to see the light after a night that went terribly wrong. 

Then she see’s him again.. and everything changes. Can he bring her back to whole, and completely heal her.

[melbender]

I untied my hair, running my fingers through it as I sat on the bed and sighed. Glancing down at my phone for what felt like the fifteenth time In one minute. Nothing. No message or calls. All my texts went unread. I even tried to visit and was told he didn’t want to see me. It suddenly hit me, we were over. He dumped me and was ghosting me. I got up and went to Toms room “I hear you’re going to the town fair tonight, can I come with you? I’ll even buy you a ride.” I asked with a sigh.

He smiled “sure lily, just don’t throw up on me.”

Ella knocked on Gunnar’s door, hoping he would be home. I missed him in classes and Nate was just too boring. When the door opened, I jumped at the chance with my best smile ever and holding two tickets “alright, enough moping around! You need some fun in your life and I’m taking you to the fair tonight! Candy and rides! What more could a guy want.” I beamed “get dressed, we’re leaving soon and I won’t take no for an answer.”

[Ashwag24]

I was trying to catch up on my studies ignoring everything else.  The pain I had from not talking to lily made me wish I had just died instead of surviving.  My dad made me go get out of the house to this stupid fair thing and I was sitting there with a fucking shaved head and this huge scare people loved to stare at.  I was not in the mood and my dad was hitting on some woman here.  I looked around not knowing what to do, I really didn’t want to talk to her or be here with her. She just annoyed me.

[melbender]

“Gunnar!” Ella beamed pulling up a chair beside him. “How are you? Cool scar, it’s kinda rugged and sexy.” She winked. “So, Umm.. want to come on the Ferris wheel with me? I’m scared of heights but would love to go on it.” She knew lily was in line and wanted her to see them together.

[Ashwag24]

I sighed “will it get you to shut up?” I groaned hating this. I just wanted to go home. There was nothing cool or sexy about the scar on my head. I got up wanting this to be over with.

[melbender]

“Of course it will “ she reached for his hand and pulled him towards the ride, spotting lily she laughed turning purposely and placing her hand against his chest “oh you need to lighten up, it’s going to be fun!” She beamed.

I bit the inside of my cheeks, tears burned my eyes as I saw him and her, I had no idea who she was but she looked comfortable enough with him. I went to turn but Tom stopped me “No. We’re going on the ride, just ignore them.”

“How can I! It’s a ride for lovers!” I rolled my eyes, snapping. “I hope she falls out of her cart.” I muttered jealous as hell.

[Ashwag24]

I rolled my eyes and took her hands off me. “Don’t! I’m only here cause my dad made me come I’m not here to be a friend I’m not here to be anything got it!” I then looked behind her and saw lily. “Shit.” I miss her so much. I wanted to go to her kiss her and pull her in my arms but then I remembered she killed our baby and lied about it. “I can’t be here.” I turned and walked off away from her and away from my only live.

[melbender]

“You’re seriously just going to keep ignoring me?” I chased after him. “After everything, this is how it ends? With you pretending to not even know me!”

[Ashwag24]

I turned and looked at her. “I didn’t end anything lily, but just so you know Noah told me everything after you left me at the hospital after you lied to me!” I was pissed. “And now you follow me to pretty much blame me for your decisions?” I shook my head. “Fuck I asked you to marry me and you didn’t give me a answer then lied about our baby! You told me you would have a scan and then you go visit your new brother and come back telling me you lost the baby! You damn well knew the baby was gone before then!” I turned “I can’t do this right now.

[melbender]

I was confused, shaking my head I didn’t know what he was talking about. “I did loose the baby! And it was horrible to hold my brother and think I would have that soon but minutes later I was losing my own.. I lost the baby after you woke, and why would I have said we had a scan if I knew there was no baby?” And then it hit me. “Wow.. you think I actually-“ I couldn’t say it. “You’re a judgemental fucking asshole!” I yelled, tears down my cheeks “I knew you’d throw it back in my face.. enjoy your date.” I turned and walked away to the Ferris wheel, getting in alone.

[Ashwag24]

I stared at her for a while. I was an asshole she kept lying to me. Her brother told me. I walked away seeing Noah I walked right past him. Then stopped. “Your sister thinks I’m the asshole, when she killed our baby, and lied and said she lost the baby! She killed our baby Noah! I asked her to marry me and she killed our baby that day your brother was born!” I yelled not carrying who heard. “But I’m the asshole here.”

[melbender]

“Umm dude calm down, I seriously have no clue what you’re talking about.. she got rid of the baby after she was raped.. but umm, it was months ago and I’m pretty sure if she had an abortion on the day you woke up, we’d all know about it since mum and dad have to give their parental concent as she’s a minor.” He ran a hand through his hair “if you’re saying my sister was pregnant again, then I have no idea about that.”

[Ashwag24]

I stared at him. “Shit I am a asshole. I looked over his should to the Ferris wheel. “I fucked up, I really fucked up. Please tell her I’m so sorry.” I looked at him. “Fuck I’m sorry I have to go.” I took off running and I didn’t stop till I was well I had no clue where I was. I was so stupid. I hurt her bad and didn’t even know it. I don’t deserve her.

[melbender]

Noah watched him take off, but he didn’t say anything to Lily. He held his tongue and let her enjoy what was left of the night before driving them back home. “Lil,” he paused in he car “I think maybe you need to move on, go back to school and just focus on yourself. Don’t let him get you down.”

“But I love him.” I whispered. “He said he loved me..” he hated me.

[Ashwag24]

I laid in bed hating myself. I picked my phone up several times.  Then finally I picked it up and typed -lily, I’m sorry for thinking that you didn’t want our baby, your brother told me you weren’t ready and that you wanted to think of school I assumed and hurt you bad I know you hate me I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am because I’m so sorry lily words can’t be enough to tell-  I stared at it and retyped it about 5 times before sending it.  I didn’t deserve her at all and I lost my chance I just know I did specially with that bitch today.

[melbender]

I heard my phone vibrate and had every intention of ignoring it until I couldn’t anymore and rolled over to check it. Gunnar’s name came up on the screen. My heart raced. I read the text, and quickly replied back -you punished me for weeks over something I didn’t do-

[Ashwag24]

-I’m sorry- I sent that knowing she hated me. I tried to focus on my school stuff but couldn’t. I fucked upaybe I should have just kept how I feel about her to myself.

[melbender]

I was still unable to sleep and my thoughts were keeping me on edge. I got up, pulled on a jumper and drove to his apartment. I covered the peep hole as the door opened and his dad stood there confused “where’s Gunner?” I asked.

“You can’t be here-“ he protested.

I rolled my eyes pushing past “I don’t care.” I snapped and stormed to his bedroom, I looked around and couldn’t see her “where is she? The whore who was all over you?! You knew I would have been there tonight, now could you take her there! Or did you do it on purpose to make me jealous? Because it worked! I’ll slap you back into that hospital I swear to god if she’s hiding under the bed or in a closet.” I said trying to sound tough.

[Ashwag24]

I rubbed my eyes looking around. “What the hell are you talking about? Who?” I sat up and stood slowly still sleep induced. “Lily what the fuck are you talking about? I didn’t even want to be there tonight she somehow found out where I lived showed up and my dad made me go I didn’t want to be there, I knew there was a chance you would and it hurts to see you knowing you hate me.”

[melbender]

Hate? “I don’t hate you. You’re the one who shut me out and pushed me away.” I sat on the edge of the bed as Ash purred at my feet “I see she still likes me. Maybe I should teach her how to bite and scratch you.” I said with a slight smile “I lost our baby, I didn’t have an abortion but I should have known you’d think that because you’re so against them.. I hurt so bad.. I needed you.”

[Ashwag24]

I slid to the side and sat next to her. “We were both hurting lily, but I shouldn’t have done what I did to you, but I was really upset when your brother told me this and then you said you lost our baby I wasn’t thinkjng it hurt so bad I thought you were lying to me, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to push you away I thought I was doing what was best for you. I’m a mess with my head right now. I ficked up and lost you.” I sighed and rubbed my hands down my face. “I’m sorry I really am.”

[melbender]

“When your dad banned me from coming here, I did hate you. I hated you so much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I thought you had broken up with me.” I looked over at him. “But it also made me think, and I know what I want.. I know you want marriage and babies, and I want that too but I’m not ready for that so soon.. I want to travel, and I want to write down all the places we both want to see, and go do it.. take a year or two off and drive around the world visiting new places.”

[Ashwag24]

I looked at her. “That would be amazing lily, but I can’t I have doctor appointments I have to go to and make sure I don’t get this cancer back. I can’t just up and leave and I can’t keep you from doing it either.” I pulle dher hands in mine. “I love you and I want a life with you, you should go see the things you want and know I’ll be here waiting on you getting healthy and making sure I kick this cancers ass.” I wanted her to go be happy. Do things.

[melbender]

“I want to go with you. Can’t you see another doctor?” I couldn’t imagine leaving him for a year and never seeing him again in between. “I’m not going alone.”

[Ashwag24]

I sighed.  “I would go in a heart beat but I can’t I’m under strict rules with my head baby, maybe one of your brothers will go with you?”  I said hating that I couldn’t go.  I didn’t want to hold her back.  “I’ll be here working on my studies as I’ll be in and out of the hospital lily I don’t want you wasting your time when you can be out doing so much.”

[melbender]

“No. We will go once you’re able to. And I’ll be here for you, unless you don’t want me.” Maybe this was him pushing me away because he didn’t want me. “I’m going to school, and graduating and the. We can take a trip around the world together.”

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