Once upon a blizzard

[melbender]

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“I’m not crazy.” I defended. “Your dick is still inside me and you’re telling me to go and see someone?” I was talking to him, wasn’t that enough. “You need to go back to work.” I moved off him, feeling even worse as I just walked out of the room and slammed the door.

[melbender]

“I don’t know.” I couldn’t deal with this. “Tony honestly I don’t have time for this, I have three children who need to be cared for, I haven’t slept in days and Bo is a grown man, if he can’t act responsible then why should I care. Imagine if I walked out and left him with the kids? You’d all hate me. He walked out and I apologised to him but he didn’t come home to talk like a normal person.” I had gone from worried to mad and hurt. “I’ve asked him to come home, and you know what.. I’m done.. I am done with men giving up on me and the kids. Men who treat us like shit and expect for us to still be here aftwards.”
I opened the door for him to leave “If he has gone on a binge or whatever it is, that just tells me a lot. Because I have given him nothing but love, support and a family and when it gets tough he walks out and doesn’t come back.” I slammed the door and locked it, breaking down and crying.

[Ashwag24]

I shook my head. “Your wrong!” I called through the door. “He is hurting right now and you, you called him or told him the worst thing possible. You both are handling this wrong!” I turned and went to walk away. “If he confronts his dad he won’t be coming back because he will be dead.”

[melbender]

“Well how the fuck am I meant to fix that when I don’t know where he is.” I half shouted to no one. I tried calling five more times and the phone went straight to voicemail. I knew no one. I didn’t have a clue where he was or where his dad was. I was had so much anger and I needed him here to help me. I couldn’t do this on my own. Sienna began crying again, my breasts were full and hurting and I just needed him. I rang his mum and as soon as she answered I broke down “I need your help. Could you come over?” I asked sobbing.

[Ashwag24]

I rubbed my eyes
Wishing I was home with Jane and the kids. But I screwed it all up. She hates me I saw the fear in her eyes. I sat up not knowing what to do then it hit me I had to comfort him the bastard. Getting up I went to walk out of my room but something stopped me. If I do this I may not come back alive then what about the kids Jane my mum. Sighing even if I did then I would end up behind bars. I went back and sat down.

I rushed over and went straight inside. “What’s wrong deer? Why do you need my help and you sound so distressed, why is no is he working? I thought he wasn’t going back for a while to help you out?” She was clueless of what was going on.

[melbender]

I didn’t know what to say. I just cried. “We has a fight. Bo lost his temper really bad today, I said some things and asked him to leave. Now, he won’t answer my calls or text and iunreachable. “I need him. I can’t do this on my own, he’s meant to be my rock and help me.. how will we ever marry when we can’t even work together?”

[Ashwag24]

I sighed and pulled her to me. “Oh deer, how you looked to see if his phone is here that’s not like no to not answer even if he is mad I know this. I say we look and see if we can find it and while we do that let’s talk some more deer, tell me all that’s happened so I can get a better idea and maybe I will know where to find him maybe call tony too he can help.”

[melbender]

I told her everything, and fed Sienna while doing so, but soon the tears and talking caught up with me and I slowly dozed off on the couch with her sleeping in my arm. All I could do was hope he would be here in the morning when I woke

[Ashwag24]

I sighed covering her up and taking the baby to lay her down. I called tony and he confirmed he was looking for him. I told him to check hotels outside of town. I didn’t like that Jane said that but she was hurt and scared so I won’t hold it against her she is a good woman. I looked all around then went outside with a flashlight finding his phone in the garden. Walking in I hoped tony finds him.

There was a knock and I jumped. Opening it up I saw tony. I just broke. “I ruined it, I lost her she hates me and fears me.” I said hating it. “She said I was acting like him tony! What the hell is wrong with me!”

[melbender]

“You need to come home, people are worried about you. Jane is fucking insane, I went over and told her how wrong she was that she said that she said that to you, I mean I got mad with her and she had the nerve to kick me out of the house. I mean what a bitch, you’re nothing like him. Come back, and stay with me.” He said sighing. “You don’t have to go back there, you’ve got rights to you kid, and we can use the fact she’s struggling against her. Your mum is with her helping, she must have called her saying she needs help and can’t cope on her own.” He said shaking his head with a scoff.

[Ashwag24]

I looked at him. “What the fuck man! I would never do that to her! I love her.” I was pissed that he thought I would just take my child from Jane. “She was scared and angry I know she didn’t mean it! What the fuck is your problem with her?”

[melbender]

“I think you can honestly do better. I mean you’ve never ever wanted kids and now you’re shacked up, engaged with 3 kids, 2 of who aren’t yours.” He looked at him. “She compared you to your old man, I bet you didn’t do anything wrong anyway and she over reacted.” He stepped closer and put both hands on his shoulders “as your best mate, you need to leave. You took off, went to another town, that’s pretty much you screaming you’re done with them.”

[Ashwag24]

I shook my head. “No I’m not done with them! And if you don’t get your hands off me I’ll take them off myself! She is good for me she loves me and I her maybe once you find someone you will understand but if you can’t except her and I together then you will need to fuck off.” I was getting mad. “She has every right to tell me to leave she was scared my temper got the best of me! I’m goin gback to her now!” I yanked away and left going to my truck getting in and slamming the door heading home.

[melbender]

He smirked to himself watching him take off “about fucking time.” He chuckled pleased with himself for making him go back. 

I woke with a startle, the house dark and rain heavy on the roof. I felt sick with heartache. Sienna was still fast asleep, which was a strange feeling to know that I wasn’t getting up and feeding her. I thought I heard a car door close but my mind was playing tricks on me. Slowly, my eyes closed again as tears ran down my cheeks.

[Ashwag24]

I walked in seeing her with tear streaked eyes hurt me. She was on the couch I called my mum who said she was in the guest room. I picked sienna up and took her to bed then came back and picked Jane up carrying her to bed. “Fuck I’m so sorry baby I didn’t mean to hurt you so bad. I’m so sorry.” I kissed her feeling ashamed. I just held her.

[melbender]

I let out a sob, my arms wrapped around him tightly “don’t ever leave like that again. I feel terrible. I was so scared.. I love you so much, Bo.” I said kissing him and not letting go.

[Ashwag24]

I held her back. “I’m sorry baby I’m really sorry I don’t know what was wrong with me it’s just a lot you know I normally don’t have this much time off.” I kissed her. “I love you all so much and I would never leave willingly.”

[melbender]

Oh, I said a little hurt “so we’re too much for you, you don’t like spending this long at home with us?” I burst into tears, sobbing.

[Ashwag24]

I shook my head. “No no baby that’s not it. I’m just use to being at work, I need to find my way here I love being here with you and the kids I just need to find my balance you know so I’m not in a bad mood. Maybe going for morning runs will help me. Please don’t think your too much I love you so much Jane.” Shut i fuck up everything.

[melbender]

I just need you to tell me when you’re sturggling. I’m here to help you, we’re a team and need to work together otherwise that how things go wrong. We snap and fight because we’re not in sync and I know I’m hormonal after having Sienna, I’m just so tired all the time.” I sniffed, holding him tighter “I miss us, we haven’t had any time together let alone dinner. I need you Bo, not just sex but in every other way too.”

[Ashwag24]

I nodded and squeezed her. “And you have me I promise to talk to you and to help you out more. I am so sorry.” I kissed her head. “How about we go to dinner just us this weekend mum can watch the kids.”

[melbender]

“You mean I get to eat actual hot food and have an adult conversation? I would love that.” I smiled, having something to look forward to. “I spoke to Reid and Luca, they know they’re in trouble and grounded for a week for what they done and will be apologising to you.” I rested my head to his chest “Sienna needs you too, maybe tomorrow you can have a shower with her?”

[Ashwag24]

I nodded “whe I brought her up here she snuggled up close to me like she knew I was sorry and she forgave me.” I kissed her head. “I’ll be apologizing to the kids too tomorrow, I feel bad for yelling so much at them.

[melbender]

“Just hold me.” I kissed him, wishing we could make love. “I love you, Bo.” I ran my hand down his chest and to his shorts “let me relieve your stress.”

[Ashwag24]

I groaned. las much as I would like you too I really want to just hold you in my arms and sleep. We both need sleep.”

[melbender]

“Oh.” I pulled my hand away, did he not want me? Had he done something while he was in the motel? My thoughts were going crazy and I felt sick. “Alright then, well try get some sleep before Sienna wakes up.” I said closing my eyes hoping I fell asleep fast.

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