Huntington Disease (Melbenda and I)

[melbender]

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I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't want to believe it. "was she young?" if she kept bringing up some young girl then I had to wonder if she was still around here too.

[Ashwag24]

i smiled. "No but you sure know how to make me feel beautiful!" I felt my cheeks heat up and just stared at him. "Your extremely sexy!"

[melbender]

I chuckled. "Sexy? No. I think rugged, and handsome. Definitely not sexy, you're that baby" I pulled out of her, and laid beside, bringing her to me. "What are you doing about your apartment?"

[Ashwag24]

i smiled "well Mia is there now so she said she would find a roommate ." I laughed. "She wants a hot male roommate..." I looked at him. "And to me you are very sexy matty!"

[melbender]

"Move in with me?" I asked. "You can stay, when you're not off surfing all over the world." I grinned, I wouldn't be staying here if she was anywhere else. I'd go with her.

[Ashwag24]

"I thought you'd never ask!" I pulled him down to me to kiss him, "we need to check on your moma!"

[melbender]

"I know." I sighed. We got dressed and I walked out to find her. I knocked on her bedroom door, and there was no reply. Pushing the door open, I yelled "Shit. Call 911!" I rushed to her as she lay unconscious with empty pill bottles

[Ashwag24]

i walked in while dialing. I looked around and grabbed the bottles as I told the lady what happened and where we were. I looked at matt and cried. "I'm going to wait outside for the paramedics." I couldn't be in there looking at that it brought too many memories back.

[melbender]

Shit. This wasn't good for her. I sighed and tried to do CPR on my mother but she wan't moving. I couldn't feel a pulse or anything. I heard sirens and was pushed out of the room as they worked on her. I slid down the wall and just cried.

[Ashwag24]

i wanted to go be there for matt but didn't know how. I kept getting flashbacks and my anxiety was picking up. I couldn't run off to surf because he needs me but I'm not doing any good standing out here freaking out. Finally a paramedic came over and helped me relax.

[melbender]

"Deep breaths sweetie. That's it." she soothed.

I felt numb when they told me the news. She'd OD and I blamed myself. I went outside while they zipped her up in a body bag and seen Lani. "Baby, you ok?" I asked, god I couldn't lose her too.

[Ashwag24]

i looked at him as tears just ran down my face. I got up and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm so sorry matt, so sorry." I didn't want him to hate me. "I left her alone, I shouldn't have left her alone. Oh god we shouldn't have taken so long. I'm so sorry."

[melbender]

"she wanted this. Dont blame yourself." I was so numb. "I don't know what to do. You think we could go take a walk? If you want to surf, I'll watch you." and get high I wanted to say

[Ashwag24]

i nodded feeling bad. We walked and I looked back and saw them carrying her out and broke down. I hated seeing it. I hated that I couldn't be there for him.

[melbender]

"I couldn't look so I walked past until I was outside. "Lani" I tugged her hand so she came with me "its ok. I'm sorry

[Ashwag24]

i didn't say anything. I just nodded and followed him. I'm such a terrible person I can't believe I left her alone knowing she wasn't well it's like I killed her just like my brothers and parents. Everyone I love gets hurt because of me. I let the tears continue.

[melbender]

I came to a stop and tightly wrapped my arms around her. Kissing her forehead. "I'm going to use sex as a way not to think about this. If it's too much, I'll understand you wanting to end this."

[Ashwag24]

i looked at him. "Matt i would walk away. Nor do i want too. But honestly I wouldn't blame you if you did. I'm to blame I know it. I shouldn't have left them, I shouldn't have gone to that party and I shouldn't have left your mum." I cried.

[melbender]

"baby stop it! " I grabbed her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes "you didn't do this. It isn't your fault, I hate that you're blaming yourself! " I hated her tears and they only made my eyes water back as I pulled her towards me and hugged tight

[Ashwag24]

i just looked at him as I cried. "I love you Matt. I'm so sorry." I put my head on his chest and stood there holding him for dear life. He was my everything and I can't loose him because if I do I won't be able to live.

[melbender]

My arms wrapped around her tighter and I lifted.Her up, walking her to the couch and sitting down. Stroking my fingers through her hair as I began kissing the soft skin of her collarbone towards her lobe "baby, I need you." I needed to take the pain away

[Ashwag24]

"you have me!" I said knowing he meant sexually but I needed him to know he had me all
The way. "I'm yours for the taken heart body and soul." I moaned

[melbender]

I nodded, continuing kissing her until we were naked. I cried as I made love to her. Holding her tightly and needing to feel her close. "don't leave me. Please don't ever leave." I had noone but her

[Ashwag24]

"as long as you never leave me Matt!" I held onto him as we both cried. I didn't know what happens next but we would find out together.

[melbender]

I barely left her untouched the rest of the day, and soon I had to figure out what I would do. "when do you sign up for your surfing?" i asked bringing her some food over to bed.

[Ashwag24]

i gave a small smile. "I'm suppose to by the end of this week." I wasn't sure I could or not now. "What are you doing about school?"

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