Secrets in the Summer.

[melbender]

First topic message reminder :

"me too but it's still early days, we'll change or minds by the time he or she is here. I like the idea of the kids helping, maybe they could chose from our final two names by writing it down." I said and ran a hand over my flat stomach. I was almost able to for into the lingerie and heels he'd brought me fit after the girls to wear. I hoped soon I was able to surprise him by wearing it. 

[melbender]

"ok ok.. Let's just see how things go. I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated with everything lately and taking it out on you. Let's go get these kids and throw them in the pool." I smiled leaving the food.

A few months later, I knew I was pregnant but still hadn't said anything to kaiden. I had a belly starting to shower and could feel the baby move. I was afraid if i said it outloud something would happen like the other pregnancies and i definitely didn't want to go to the doctors. Cole was still being a pain but had good days. Walking into kaidens office, I didn't speak and took his hands, bringing them under my shirt so he could feel a kick "don't say anything, just feel so I know I'm not imagining out."

[Ashwag24]

I sat there for a while knowing what she was doing.  Once that little amazing flutter hit I looked up at her and smiled big.  "baby!  There's a little one kicking me!"  I said and stood up to kiss her then I moved down to kiss her belly.  I was so happy but she seemed like she wasn't.  "Baby you okay?"  She's had to know for a while and has to be far enough along but looks tiny she needs to eat more and be seen by the doctor.

[melbender]

"dont talk about it, it'll get taken away if we do. " I whispered "i just wanted you to feel. I.. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want them to tell me it's not real or that she's got to die." I pushed my shirt down ten wiped my eyes i was tterrified age would be taken like her brother.

[Ashwag24]

I looked at her sadly.  "Baby you have to see someone, I need to know if your healthy too and you being this scared isn't healthy please baby please think about it."  God she was worrying me and I had to talk to lee he would help me I know he would.  I could call her dad up too he would help as wellz

[melbender]

"i don't need to see anyone because I'm fine. I'm ok and I'm not going to lose another" i placed my hands on my bump "I'm not a bad mum. Im not killing them on purpose. I.. I love my kids" i knew Cole hated me and said I made his life hell but i loved them all "i can't lose her too."

[Ashwag24]

I was torn.  "I know your not a bad mum your great and everyone knows this.  But baby please for me just think about it.  I can't deliver a baby I don't know how!"

[melbender]

i looked at him and burst into tears "i told you not to say it! I'm going to lose it.. If it's real then it'll go away!" I slumped to the couch and shook my head Mo can't go to another hospital. They're all horrible. I don't want to go to another one."

[Ashwag24]

I didn't know what to do or say so I just waked over and wrapped her in my arms.  I rocked her till she was sleeping and carried her to the bedroom.  I went back and called lee.  "Hey man I need your help."

[melbender]

I rushed over happily leaving the two monsters with their father ti straighten out. "you sounded panicked, what's up? Wait did you cheat on her, I'll kick your ass if you did."

[Ashwag24]

"Seriously?  Your a idiot!  I didn't cheat on her nor would I ever."  I sighed.  "She is pregnant and has to be further along because I felt the baby kick."  I looked at him.  "I didn't even know she was she doesn't look like it and she has been hiding it when we make love I should have saw the signs when she yelled at me when I went to wrap my arms around her waist.  Anyways I can't say baby doctor or thing close to those words or she freaks!  I told her she needed to get checked out and she cried and yelled at me.  Saying she wasn't a bad mum!  I know that I didn't say she was.  Fuck lee!  What am I suppse to do?"

[melbender]

"first of all congratulations, second, I don't think you want to know this but I overheard Cole telling her she was a bad mother and the babies died because they didn't want her as their mother.." he sighed sitting down "and maybe the hospital thing is from everything else, she's only had bad news in there lately, she's probably afraid they're going to tell her the baby died or something but if you felt it kick then she's almost halfway along, that baby's not going anywhere except out her vagina and in her arms."

[Ashwag24]

I had to laugh.  "Lee sometimes I don't know about you and others your a good man!  But cole said that to her? Fuck that boy just I don't know what to do with him."  I sighed thinking about what he all said and he was letting me know things I knew  it wasn't seeing.  "Thanks man!"

[melbender]

"you wouldn't survive without me." lee winked "seriously big guy, congrats. Noone deserves a baby more than you two." then he walked out and headed home.

I woke up in bed and sat up feeling sick. I went into the bathroom to strip and take a shower. Glancing at my body in the mirror, I turned side in and could see the bump poking out and rubbed my hands over it, feeling the constant kicks. "youre safe." i whispered.

[Ashwag24]

I waked into our bedroom and heard the water running. I stripped and got in behind her not touching her belly where our baby laid I kissed her neck.  "I'm sorry baby. I am happy but I also want you safe you both!"

[melbender]

"I'm afraid I'm dreaming. " I leant back against him "that I'll wake up and it'll all be different. I don't want to go into another hospital. I can't." I couldn't go back. "she will be ok as long as I keep her safe." i looked down rubbing my palm across my little belly "I'll keep her safe."

[Ashwag24]

I kissed her neck again and then thought.  "How about a midwife?  Could we have one come and meet with is not having to touch or anything unless you felt comfortable? " it was either that or I will have to do a crash course on delivering babies.

[melbender]

I was quiet for the longest time before I finally spoke. "I would see a midwife, and I would.. I would like a home birth. You dont have to deliver the b-" i stopped turning in his arms "we're having a baby, theres a baby kicking me like crazy." i felt like it was all hitting me at once "I'm going to have a baby."

[Ashwag24]

I smiled happy she was saying baby so much and agreed to a midwife.  "We are I know and your such a wonderful mum protecting him or her so much!  I love you so much baby your so perfect to me!"  I kissed her and then knelt down and kissed her little bump.  "Mummy and daddy love you!"

[melbender]

"I'm scared." i admitted, looking down and watching him. "I'm sick with worry." i couldn't eat properly, all i worried was our baby would be born and something would happen to me.

[Ashwag24]

I looked up and could see the fear.  I stood and pulled her into my chest.  "Shhhh baby it's okay we will make it through this.  Let's only look at the good we are having a baby and cole is having more good days!  The twins say they want to be just like you when they get older!  Ollie well Ollie is just doing Ollie which is always great!"

[melbender]

"i know, I just hope they adjust well to another baby." I sighed into his chest. "I'm sorry, you probably think you married another crazy woman " i laughed through the tears.

[Ashwag24]

"Nope I married the right woman the perfect mother and the most amazing lover!"  I said and kissed her.  "I love you lucy and the other kids wil be fine but I am worried about cole.  He might take a step backwards with this."   I hated saying it but it might happen.  "Speaking of I need to go start breakfast I think I'm getting better!" I winked and she laughed thank god.

[melbender]

pouring milk into cereal wasn't that hard but he finally got the milk ratio better than making the cereal a soggy mess. "do you think you could add pancakes, French toast with bacon, eggs and fruit to your menu this morning?" i asked following him out of the shower "I'm just a bit hungry."

[Ashwag24]

Umm "I'll get Ollie to help."  We both laughed knowing I couldn't do that but Ollie could.  I found Ollie and recruited him to help.  Once we finished the girls and cole appeared then lucy and that's when Mae said.  "Mummy you look beautiful but your belly is getting big maybe you should just have fruit!"

[melbender]

I smiled, my heart began to beat faster as I glanced at kaiden then bsck to the girls "yes, but my tummy is actually going to get alot bigger. There's a baby in there growing, and kicking me like crazy." i took her hand, placing it in my stomach and she felt a kick. Her mouth and eyes both wide as she put another hand then Maddy reached over for a feel too. "thats the little baby kicking you bboth"

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